Mother's Day

I love being a mother. My boys give me the greatest joy and I'm thankful for them everyday. I look forward to becoming a mother again - through adoption. :)

I was treated to an amazing Mother's Day meal courtesy of my awesome hubby! Surf and Turf on the front porch with beautiful weather and great company. It was a good time. :)

We have a lot to look forward to in the next couple of weeks and my excitement is getting the best of me.... I will be sure to update when I can. :)

Let there be WHITE....

Our home projects are going well! We've finished painting the nursery white and I'm in luv with it! It's so bright and cheerful in there... Here is the before:

and After:

I also forgot to update our paneled sitting room... the after is quite a change....

Before:

and After:

Where have I been??

I've been a little quiet these past few weeks.  Still excited and hopeful as ever, but, I think I needed a bit of a break. I've been told by so many friends that adoption is like a roller coaster ride. There will be ups and downs... and the hardest part is the wait.

Truth be told, last month was a little tough...
I'm fairly certain that we've suffered an emotional adoption scammer.  Someone who pretends they are pregnant and develops a relationship with you.... tells you they chose you as the adoptive parents...and then you realize it was all a lie. 
I just never thought it would happen to us or that I could be so naive?

Marc and I were aware that this could possibly happen when we decided to pursue adoption without an agency.  I thought I knew all the warning signs... I didn't.  Let me tell you... it hurt... bad.

So, YES, I needed a break.  Some time to rest and pray and move forward.

And here I am. Happy and positive as ever... living by my philosophy that "things happen for reasons" and going with it.
It's funny how great things happen when you least expect it..... :)

Love this....

I came across this poem today and I thought I'd share it here... :)

~ Legacy Of An Adopted Child ~

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call mother.

Two different lives
Shaped to make yours one,

One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you to live it.
And the first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seeds of talent,
The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

One gave you life,
It was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years.
Heredity or environment, Which are you a product of?
Neither, my Darling, Neither,
Just two different kinds of love.

Author Unknown

Feeling a little lost

So, my usual optimistic self is feeling a little lost today. I wouldn't be a truthful person if I didn't express all my emotions on this blog, right? To be honest, I need prayers. So much has been going on lately... it's amazing what can take place in a week.

I've been told that adopting can be like a pregnancy.  The emotions and anticipation are constant...the waiting and not knowing, it's hard to describe. I have total faith and yet, I have this racing feeling in my heart. I'm not quite sure when that will go away...

I write this as I am getting ready for church.  My boys are laughing in the bathroom and Marc is ironing upstairs. Life is good. So, why am I feeling so sad? I actually do know the reason, but, I'm not at liberty to say and it's hard... Wish I could.

Happy Valentine's Day....

So I attempted to make heart shaped pancakes for the boys this morning... and failed miserably. :) Luckily, Marc stepped in and did an awesome job. Who knew? My hubby is a potential Betty Crocker. :) What a fun start to Valentine's day.

the pancakes were a big hit with Cole!

And so it begins...

The wait.  We've finished up our MAPP classes, completed our homestudy, had our fire inspection and now it's just a matter of time. :) Marc and I really enjoyed our classes and we were both a bit bummed they are over.  I tell ya what, MAPP classes teach you a lot about yourself.

So how am I passing the time?  Hmm...have I mentioned I'm a planner?  That's not an easy thing to be when you have no control... no idea when God will bless you with a baby.  I feel I need to prepare in some way and I have to admit that I've started nesting. I can't help it! I love to decorate and I've been brainstorming ideas for the nursery.  Some adoptive parents prefer not to get anything for the baby until the adoption is final... me on the other hand, I plan on having the room and a couple of other things ready.  It helps me channel all this restless energy I get from waiting.... and... it's so fun looking a baby things again.

One thing Marc and I have agreed to start on is painting. I want a bright, white nursery.  I will add in hints of color later. I'm attaching a picture below that is my inspiration... oh, and did I mention, I'm going to try and do this nursery for under $100?? We'll see how that goes. :)

Dear Birth Mother.... The Letter

You might wonder what this is? Basically, it's a letter to the expectant mother introducing your family and why you feel you would be a good family for her to place the baby with... truthfully, it's kinda like selling yourself...

Okay, so far, this is the hardest part I've encountered in this entire process... I am suffering from the worst kind of writer's block and have no idea how to snap out of it.
I mean, there are so many things to say... and unfortunately, they are pretty generic in the adoption world. For example, I've seen a lot of...

"We are so honored to have you view our profile." when really i want to write: "Oh my goodness!!! You are reading our profile!! That is awesome! Read more.... like us please?"

and if I were being completely honest??? I would really like to write : "Pick us, Choose us, Please! We are the coolest family ever."

*sigh*

I sat with Marc last night and we brainstormed a few ideas. We are leaning toward just making a video about us and why we wish to adopt. Obviously, we will still have a letter for our profile... but, I love the idea of just keeping it simple with a link to our video.  We'll see.

Finding vs. Waiting....

Today was productive and proactive.  I went to several places and passed out adoption cards and it felt good. I'm not the kind to sit around and wait kinda person... I'm a doer.  I will admit that I had some funny reactions to the cards... mostly, people are just curious. It's funny, but in my area, adoption is still undiscussed to a certain extent. In fact, some consider adoption shameful and have no concept of what an open-adoption is...
What ya gonna do? :) I just explain it as simply as I can.  Adoption is love - pure and simple. We have more love to give. 
So I continue to research... ways of connecting with expectant mothers, etc... obviously, I am networking through my cards, but, I'm also relying on the web for outreach... It also helps me feel like I'm working toward a goal instead of waiting around... :) I found this definition of Wait vs. Find on another blog and thought I would share it here. 

WAIT
Waiting is passive. It is being idle and is extremely unfulfilling.

W: WHAT IF?
As we wait, we may stay in a constant state of "What if?" We may put off plans and not take full advantage of our present opportunities while we sit by the phone waiting for that important call.

A: ANXIOUS
As we wait we may get restless and uneasy. We may feel a lot of anxiety and worry about things over which we have no control.

I: INSECURE
As we wait we may feel insecure and doubt our capacity to parent. We may feel unworthy and have a sense of low self-esteem.

T: TENSE
As we wait the tension may grow. If we are not careful, contention can easily enter the home and we may begin to blame and easily hurt other's feelings.

FIND
Finding is active. It is being proactive in the search for your child. It is following the principle of doing all that we can and then relying on the Lord to help all things work together for our good.

F: FAITH
It takes faith to search for your child: faith in prayer that Heavenly Father will guide us and place us in the right places; faith through fasting that we will encounter the birth mother carrying our child; faith that the Lord will direct our paths and help us find our children.

I: INSPIRATION
The Spirit can inspire us to talk with those around us about our desire to adopt. As we listen to the prompting of the Spirit, we can be divinely guided in our efforts.

N: NETWORKING
It is beneficial to talk to everyone. Using every possible channel to get the word out can expand our voice and can increase the likelihood of finding our child.

D: DIVINE INTERVENTION
Once we have done all we can do, we can rely on the Lord to intervene on our behalf. It is only through Him that all things are possible. The Lord will direct our paths.

 

Loving Saturdays... in the winter. :)

Here it is... Saturday and I'm still in my pj's at noon. I love it.  Later this year, Saturdays will become my busy days...weddings and sessions to photograph, but, for now I can just enjoy being lazy. And I am.
I've been on the computer all morning. Checking out blogs, researching Independent adoption, playing on facebook... life is good.
Our MAPP classes are going well... we are learning so much about ourselves.  We've had a few contacts from potential birth mothers, but, nothing concrete. Time will tell. :) At least we know our networking is working... And meanwhile, we just keep praying and getting our house ready for a little one...

Speaking of getting the house ready... Marc and I have been painting. This is a project I've wanted to do since we moved in to the house last year. We have this knotty wood paneling throughout the downstairs and although I can appreciate it's beauty - I just have to lighten the place up. :) We started on our first room last week. Here are some step-by-step pics... I will update with a finished pic soon!

Yup. We have a long way to go... :) 3 more rooms after this.

So this is fun!

Marc and I have been working on our "homework" assignment from MAPP class.... we are filling out massive amounts of paper work, which is mostly questions about our life, childhood, etc...

 The fun part has been the Photo Book. We are supposed to gather photos of us, our kids, family, and home. As some of you know, Marc and I dated when we were 14... and so we've been including some of those photos too! I'm posting a few...too funny!

Our Wedding Day - October 12th, 2002

the boy's playroom... hopefully a baby room soon!

MAPP Classes

Marc and I took our first MAPP class last night to become certified as Foster - to - Adopt parents. We really enjoyed the experience. :) Marc was so talkative... I was laughing at him. He had so much to contribute and several of our questions were answered. I can't believe that we will be home study ready and certified by Feb! We can officially welcome an infant in to our home sooner than expected. Hoping and praying our birth mother is out there...